Feeling a bit guilty

Tomorrow I start school.
If I don’t go to school and get my Diploma (german: Realschulabschluss) then I will never be able to get a decent Job and will most definitely NOT be able to become a midwife, which is what I really want. I NEED to go to school, for myself and for my kids.
due to some unforeseen circumstances, I have to go to a school that is more than twice as far from here as I had planned (because the one I was originally going to go to stopped offering this course due to budget cuts) and because I was so late to sign up, I couldn’t get into the morning classes, so now I will have school from  5-10 pm plus a 30 minute commute each way.
Not only will this interfere with my little ones breastfeeding and cosleeping since he will be asleep by the time I come home, but it also means after the summer, I will only get to see Lee in the mornings when I take him to preschool, because he will be staying there till 4.30 pm to get his therapy and whatnot, which is when I will have to leave for school and he will be alseep when I get home.
When I signed up for the class I asked them that, if a spot opens up in the morning, to please let me have it.
And they said they will definitely put me at the top of the list because of my kids, however if I start skipping school or my performance drops, they will give it to someone else.
I feel so guilty for spending so much time away from my kids and I havent even started yet!


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